I saw a birdie!

Meet my birdhouse. It’s nice and full isn’t it? Well, I only filled it half way to start with, so it’s still pretty much the same as when I bought it a month ago. You see…

I have always leaned to the side of Old Lady Who Has Too Many Flowers And Watches Birds All Day. I have a few bird houses and a squirrel feeder.  I thought I’d try to conjure up a few feathered friends so I bought a bird feeder about a month ago. I hadn’t seen ONE bird eat my seed, though. Not even a sneaky one! But that all changed this morning as I was outside smoking enjoying the sunrise. At 7:01 AM (as if I really looked, jeesh) I saw a bird. I have no idea what kind it was, because I haven’t seen any to even research it! But it was probably an ordinary Iowa bird. You tell me. Click HERE to see my terribly exposed Through The Kitchen Window Screen photo of my new friend, who flew away after I release the shutter.

Statistical Data:

• starting weight: 121.2 pounds (with sweaty pajamas, socks, and asics)
• distance ran: .50 miles
• distance walked (”briskly”, mind you): .50 miles
• Total: 1.0 miles
• Time: 14.43 minutes
• Calories burned: 160 something or other. I don’t know because I almost fell on my ass and my ipod flew off the rack and I unplugged the safety key. LMBO

Today is day ONE of Nice Butt Boot Camp. (crowd is roaring, lights are flashing)

I am bound and determined to get my butt in gear and be a good shape again. If you look at my stats, I am not overweight for a 5′4″ woman of 32 (well, in 2 weeks I turn 32, that is). I am actually doing well if you look at this site.

The People’s Choice Ideal Weight: 118 lbs

medical recommendation: 111-146 lbs.

However, I need to tone up. I hate it when my butt doesn’t fit inside my underwear. Well, I wear thongs, but you know what I mean. I don’t want to see any cheeks coming out the side of my swimwear. And I definately don’t want much jiggle in the jello.

SO, wish me luck! Shannon, you better be ready to run with me in the summer!

By the way, See that treadmill in my bedroom? $50 bucks. (pick up your jaw) I got it off a friend who used it as a closet. It’s nice! Even if it tells me my pulse is 48 after I ran .25 miles. I have to fiddle with that a bit I think.

Now I am off to have a smoke (ahem, I know…that is going out the window soon) and shower.

Bye!

Homemade Gothic Look- a Cure For Boredome

It’s easy. Just raid your mother’s jar of Q-tips and your father’s flossing picks. That’s all there is to it. You, too, can have that “gothic” look minus the needles and nausea.

Yeow-suh!

It’s hot out here!

Yesterday I went shopping for the first time in a little while (yes, I was shaking). I needed a new wallet so badly. The former wallet was a nice one, from Coach, but it just couldn’t withstand the pressure I put upon it’s dear little soul. It tore and would eat my money up and I’d find it inside the lining. So, I went to Kohls’, of all places,  and found this smashingly cute wallet with more bells and whistles than I should ever need.

So what do you do on a hot August day?

1. Open all of your windows to let the fresh “70″s weather in
2. Mow your lawn
3. Bake a cake
4. Put a roast in the 350 degree oven for 4 hours

That, my fellows, is what you do on a hot day. I also invited my little brother and my other brother’s wife and my nephew along. It’s gonna be hot in he-yuh!

Stay tuned for more fun photos on my next post. Some dirt bike photos and my gothic q-tip son.

Toodles!

A little Birdie

I got asked in an email regarding my Interact with me post:

I haven’t seen you around any of the digi-scrap stores in quite some time. Do you stll work for any designers?

I used to work for a few different designers and I got to use their product in effort to advertise for them because I was pretty well known in parts of the digital scrapping world. (yes, you did hear a horn…I was tooting my own ) I was a contributing artist for a magazine and had a few galleries chock full of pages I did. Sadly, though, I haven’t been doing much in the way of digital scrapbooking at ALL!  Sometimes I miss it, but it is so time consuming and just hard to fit in with photography, working (I was working when I stepped down) and what not. But, oddly enough, my boss emailed me today and asked that I send a handmade card to a coworker *funny how I don’t even work there yet and don’t know them* so I whipped something up using a very delicious kit called “Gabby” by The Shabby Princess. I was so inlove with this kit that I decided to blogify it. So, that’s why you keep coming here and things look different. ADHD, OCD, Boredome, and inspiration are to blame.

Here’s the wallpaper I made for the birthday lady, click it if you don’t have insanely great vision to enlarge it:

I love that stinkin’ birdie!

And, while I was at it, I booked 3-maybe 4 more photo sessions!

Holy Canoly…I better not get too busy or I might forget to blog! But you would all forgive me, right?

It’s in the blood

I think I solved the problem.

All of the iron is out of my body and osmotically transmitting itself into my waterline…hence the rusty water stains in my tub (if I am behind on whink ing it) and my lacklustre for physical activity.

I am a freaking genious… watch out Einstein…

So, I took an iron pill yesterday, which I stole from my neighbor. And guess who’s rollin’ now?

I can already tell a difference in my energy.

Just so long as I don’t have trouble shitting now-I’ll be a happy camper.

I remember having this trouble when I was pregnant. I had major hypoglycemia and passed out regularly. Nice huh?

So,

here’s to hoping that I am okay and a pill will cure it all. Raise your glasses….can you drink wine with iron? Hahhaa

Energy Schmengery

Did you know that I usually run around like a beheaded chicken most days? I can never sit still. I also have the attention span of a goldfish, too. And I never get tired.

So what the frig is up?

No, I’m not impregnated. The Mister has been cut and tied. If I am pregnant, that’s a cruel joke, God. But I feel like I did when I was. No energy. Zap. Zip. Zzzzzzzzzz. *snore*

I can’t figure it out. Here’s the list running around in my head, of why I could be so, so, so…hibernate-ly lately:

1. It’s hot. It’s so hot that it feels like I dumped a 5 gallon vat of steaming spaghetti noodles in the sink and stuck my head in for a facial. Every time I go outside to do what I am about to tell you in #2.
2. I started smoking cigarettes again. Shut up. I started a month ago because I felt like making a unwise, stinky decision. There’s more to it than that but I am not going to delve into that topic today. Smoking is bad.
3. I got a painful massage. A deep muscle massage. And all my metabolic waste settled on my Get Up And Go Valve. My neck feels much better but I haven’t been drinking enough H2O to flush my system.
4. I might be premenstrual. I have to be. I don’t know when Bloody Mary is due to come along, though, because the Mister is cut and tied, remember? And I don’t keep track of my cycle anymore. But I have that mild crabby, take a lot of naps feeling.
5. I haven’t worked out since Summer vacation began. Well, scratch that. I have, but not WORKED OUT. I told Chad that I wanted Santa Clause to buy me a tread mill for Christmas, and I always get what I want ‘cuz that’s how I roll. Or walk. Or jog. I need to exercise to keep my killer physique. Killer- as in you’ll die of laughter if you see me naked.
6. I am tired of summer. Shhhh. Don’t tell Old Man Winter that I said that. But I am ready for falling leaves and I want to decorate my Christmas tree.
7. I am stressing about starting work up again. I know I am going to get in the swing of things but if you think I am a lazy sloth now, see me in September, Week 1. I’ll be a zomb-itch. Tired and Grumpy. But after I reconcile myself with alarm clocks again it will all be well.
8. I don’t have another reason. I just didn’t want to end on an odd number because I am silly like that.

So, there you have it ladies and gents. I am outta energy. But I mustered up enough to make some Big, Fat, Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies though. Read this:

“These cookies are the pinnacle of perfection! If you want a big, fat, chewy cookie like the kind you see at bakeries and specialty shops, then these are the cookies for you!”

That’s the truth, too. They’re huge and gooey. Everyone will stalk you for the recipe. I bet your Significant others will love you forever if you make them. Well, hopefully they will regardless, but they might just go that extra mile the next time they rub your back, yannowhatimsayin?

And I took some photos of this deliciously adorable little kiddo next door. Maybe he’ll donate some of his energy to me. Do they do energy transplants?

Girl Drama and Shopping

I thought I’d sneak a photo of my firstborn goofball into this post.

Let me tell you, she has had so many sleepovers in my living room that I am about to think these girls are part of my family. She runs around with 2 girls, Kayla and Emily. There are more girls around, but let’s just say that it is a major flashback to high school if they all congregate together. In fact, I have officially “banned” her from being around 2 of them. I can’t believe I actually had to do that already, but seriously, I don’t think that they’re any good for her to be around. One is constantly stealing things, like the gym teachers first aid bag (um, OK?) and other people’s belongings. I’ve seen her grab other kids’ bikes and ride them home. Just bad. And then there is the other girl who used to be the center of attention and had all of the kids in her yard playing, total monopoly and she was the bomb-until we moved in. And Molly “stole” all of her friends from her, and Molly is just a “spoiled little brat”. Actually, I think they clung to Molly. like flies on poop, because she was the new girl and they liked her. So, now this former Trailer Park Queen Tween Girl is causing major triangles and scheming to make Molly friendless. Up until now I have sat on the sidelines just shaking my head and remembering how girls can be so stupid. Even grown up ones, too. I finally told Molly that she was not allowed to socialize with these two girls-and the Snotty Queen Tween has been all like “If Molly’s mom can’t say anything to my face, then What-ever! Like talk to my hand, dude.” Come on over and I’ll give you my 2 cents and maybe a course on how to treat people. Sheesh, there I go regressing back to middle school. But it never really ends, does it? I just hope that Molly retains the ability to let it roll off her shoulders and keeps the genuine relationships healthy. I’m also trying to teach her that kindness matters and even if you don’t want to “hang out” with a certain person, you can be kind and polite. I do it all the time, LOL! Girl Drama sucks.

This only makes having a son a little more easy. All he does is play. And if you get on his nerves, he’s an alpha male and won’t take any crap. He doesn’t have hormones, (*yet*) or the worry if his friends “like” him. Either you play in the dirt with him or you don’t. No drama. Woo woo woo (doing the whole “guy cheer”)

Other things on my mind. Shopping (ding,ding, ding-you are correct)! I went to the mall yesterday. I didn’t buy anything though, you see. I just “window” drooled shopped. I found a few really cool pairs of shoes and tops. And my all time favorite brand/style of pants. These are the best-est ever. I had a pair a few years ago which I gave to my lovely friend Shannon after I lost too much weight. Now they’re probably hanging off her running ass, too. Anyway, if you have to get a pair of good, quality, comfortable pants-get these. And spend the extra money- it’s worth it. They’re from Express. And this particular style is the “Editor” style. I have them in various shades, but of coarse…all too big for me now because I bought them back when I went to church weekly and weighed much more than I do now. Not that I am correlating church with obesity, that’s not what I’m saying (lol)

Aren’t they cute?

So, I have to go shopping for all new clothes for work. I need at least a weeks worth of clothes so I am going to have to spend a big wad of money. I better start watering that money tree I transplanted in the yard.

HAHA. I wish.

Have a good day, everyone. And thanks for the emails and comments to my Interaction post. It was nice to meet you all!

Interact with me

Ok, you 31 readers, I need some blog interaction.

I know I am pretty stinky at commenting on people’s blogs. But I read. And I comment about 20% of the time. I know I am a little uninteresting from time to time. I don’t usually write beyond my last shopping spree lately, or whose photo I took recently. I am more interesting than that, I think?!

I don’t really get too personal on my blog because I have this crazy thing about not being offensive. I could really write a lot of things but I just don’t want to piss anyone off, KWIM?

But wait a minute, whose blog is this, and why don’t I try to be more transparent?

So, what do you want to know? I’ll write about it. Ask me, email me…anything. What do you want me to share? Photography? Or do you want me to get more personal? I won’t post any nude photos or talk about nasty things, so don’t get carried away.

What about you? How would you describe the way you tend to blog?

What brings you to Miranda’s blog?

Spill it. I’ll come back later to read, that is, if you take the time to comment. Don’t be invisible, (wo)man!

Whoa Baby!

It’s one hot morning! I don’t know what I am brewing coffee for…do I really want to warm up and start sweating at 9:00am?

So….I thought I’d put up a few proofs from my session on Monday. How ’bout that?

Nothing can be sweeter than chubby baby ankles. C’mon, this is pretty much the only time in a person’s life that it is beautiful to have fat rolls on your joints, yanno what I’m sayin’?

These girls were crazy. I don’t know if it was the heat or what, but they had some animated faces to share with me! Very funny kids!

And it’s even funnier when the grown-ups play along.

Isn’t she so cute??

And that’s all I am going to leave you with for now. But you can go to my flickr account on the side bar or click on the most sweetest, calm, happy Mr. Chubba-Bubba and see the rest: